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 |       |      (#########)    |      |     | V  \/  \---.    .----/  \----.
 |  (o)(o)       (o)(o)(##)    |      |      \_        /       \          /
 C   .---_)    ,_C     (##)    | (o)(o)       (o)(o)  <__.   .--\ (o)(o) /__.
  | |.___|    /____,   (##)    C      _)     _C       /       \      ()    /
  |  \__/       \     (#)      |  ,___|     /____,   )  \      >   (C_)   <
  /_____\        |    | |       /  \       /----'    /___\____    /___\
 /_____/ \       OOOOOO        /____\          ooooo             /|   |\
/         \     /      \      /      \        /     \           /       \

Homer          Marge           Bart            Lisa            Baby Maggie

                                THE SIMPSONS
%% "The best thing is to look natural, but it takes makeup to look natural."
-- Calvin Klein %% "The ability of two men to put on gloves, stand toe-to-toe, and pummel each other into insensibility... is what separates us from the animals."
-- Jim, on Taxi %% "The Wright Bothers weren't the first to fly. They were just the first not to crash." %% After Goliath's defeat, giants ceased to command respect.
-- Freeman Dyson %% After adding two weeks to the schedule for unexpected delays, add two more for the unexpected, unexpected delays. %% After all, it is only the mediocre who are always at their best.
-- Jean Giraudoux %% After being asked by a waitress if he wanted his pizza cut into four slices or eight: "Better make it four. I don't think I can eat eight pieces."
-- Yogi Berra %% After living in New York, you trust nobody, but you believe everything. Just in case. %% After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.
-- Italian proverb %% Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.
-- Leonard Brandwein %% Better to have loved a short girl, than never to have loved a tall. %% Besides a mathematical inclination, an exceptionally good mastery of one's native tongue is the most vital asset of a competent programmer.
-- Edsger W. Dijkstra %% Being right too soon is socially unacceptable %% Being average is being the best of the worst, or the worst of the best. %% An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
-- Van Roy %% I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-- Douglas Adams %% Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
-- Fred Allen %% Television: the bland leading the bland.
-- (Anonymous) %% The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.
-- James Baldwin %% Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
-- Ambrose Bierce %% The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good persons to do nothing.
-- Edmund Burke %% Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
-- Joseph Campbell %% And now, what will become of us without any barbarians? Those people were a kind of solution.
-- C.P. Cavafy %% Tell me and I forget. Show me and I remember. Let me do and I understand.
-- Confucius %% There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of man, with the possible exception of the sword.
-- Benjamin Dana %% I have known a vast quantity of nonsense talked about bad men not looking you in the face. Don't trust that conventional idea. Dishonesty will stare honesty out of countenance, any day in the week, if there is anything to be got by it.
-- Charles Dickens %% Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch %% Everything has been said before, but since nobody listens, we have to keep going back and beginning again.
-- Andre Gide %% The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.
-- John Gilmore %% Naturally the common people don't want war ... but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.
-- Hermann Goering %% There's no money in poetry, but there's no poetry in money either.
-- Robert Graves %% I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
-- Frank Herbert
Dune, 1965 %% Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
-- Eric Hoffer %% Something always takes longer than you think, even if you take Hofstadters law into consideration.
-- Douglas Hofstadter %% Among economists, the real world is often a special case.
-- Horngren %% Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.
-- Erica Jong %% In the long run we are all dead.
-- John Maynard Keynes %% The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.
-- Henry Kissinger %% Being called a poetess brings out the terroristress in me.
-- Audre Lorde %% You don't stick a knife in a man's back nine inches and then pull it out six inches and say you are making progress.
-- Malcolm X %% If I'd known how old I was going to get, I'd have taken better care of myself.
-- George Meany %% Someone:
Oh tempura! Oh morays!

A second:
On my office door I have a cartoon by Larson that shows a bunch of eels standing around, sipping cocktails. The caption is: Social morays.

A third:
Ok, now everybody sing!
"When an eel bites your leg
And the pain makes you beg,
That's a moray!"
(Thank you Fusco Brothers)
-- (Clever folks) %% Oxymorons: student athlete, military intelligence, military justice, mercy killing, pollution-free.
-- (Various sages over the ages) %% A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. As a reporter, you are expected to know the difference.
-- (UPI Stylebook) %% Nobody believes the official spokesman ... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
-- Ron Nessen %% After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
-- P.J. O'Rourke %% I have often had the impression that, to penguins, man is just another penguin -- different, less predictable, occasionally violent, but tolerable company when he sits still and minds his own business.
-- Bernard Stonehouse %% The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
-- Andy Tanenbaum %% Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
-- Lily Tomlin %% Niklaus Wirth has lamented that, whereas Europeans pronounce his name correctly (Ni-klows Virt), Americans invariably mangle it into (Nick-les Worth). Which is to say that Europeans call him by name, but Americans call him by value.
-- (Unknown) %% Documentation is the castor oil of programming; the managers know it must be good because programmers hate it so much.
-- Weinberg %% [Of chess:] It is important to realize that you cannot win unless your opponent makes a mistake. There is no possibility of creating a win solely out of your own genius.
-- Ken Whyld %% Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
-- Oscar Wilde %% HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 1

proof by example:
The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that it contains most of the ideas of the general proof.
proof by intimidation:
'Trivial'.
proof by vigorous handwaving:
Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.
%% HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 2
proof by cumbersome notation:
Best done with access to at least four alphabets and special symbols.
proof by exhaustion:
An issue or two of a journal devoted to your proof is useful.
proof by omission:
'The reader may easily supply the details'
'The other 253 cases are analogous'
'...'
%% HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 3
proof by obfuscation:
A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless syntactically related statements.
proof by wishful citation:
The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization of a theorem from the literature to support his claims.
proof by funding:
How could three different government agencies be wrong?
proof by eminent authority:
'I saw Karp in the elevator and he said it was probably NP- complete.'
%% HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 4
proof by personal communication:
'Eight-dimensional colored cycle stripping is NP-complete [Karp, personal communication].'
proof by reduction to the wrong problem:
'To see that infinite-dimensional colored cycle stripping is decidable, we reduce it to the halting problem.'
proof by reference to inaccessible literature:
The author cites a simple corollary of a theorem to be found in a privately circulated memoir of the Slovenian Philological Society, 1883.
proof by importance:
A large body of useful consequences all follow from the proposition in question.
%% HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 5
proof by accumulated evidence:
Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample.
proof by cosmology:
The negation of the proposition is unimaginable or meaningless. Popular for proofs of the existence of God.
proof by mutual reference:
In reference A, Theorem 5 is said to follow from Theorem 3 in reference B, which is shown to follow from Corollary 6.2 in reference C, which is an easy consequence of Theorem 5 in reference A.
proof by metaproof:
A method is given to construct the desired proof. The correctness of the method is proved by any of these techniques.
%% HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 6
proof by picture:
A more convincing form of proof by example. Combines well with proof by omission.
proof by vehement assertion:
It is useful to have some kind of authority relation to the audience.
proof by ghost reference:
Nothing even remotely resembling the cited theorem appears in the reference given.
%% HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 7
proof by forward reference:
Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author, which is often not as forthcoming as at first.
proof by semantic shift:
Some of the standard but inconvenient definitions are changed for the statement of the result.
proof by appeal to intuition:
Cloud-shaped drawings frequently help here.
%% "I can't do anything to the death - doctor's orders."
-- Woody Allen, "Love and death" %% "I can't face the world in the morning. I must have coffee before I can speak."
-- Joseph Cotton in Shadow of a Doubt %% "I have two very rare photographs. One is a picture of Houdini locking his keys in his car; the other is a rare photograph of Norman Rockwell beating up a child."
-- Steven Wright %% "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone."
-- Bill Cosby %% I know you believe you understand what you think I said.
But I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
-- Anonymous %% If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulder of giants. -- Isaac Newton If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. -- Hal Abelson In computer science, we stand on each other's feet. -- Brian K. Reed